harper

Harper is almost 8 months. He is sitting up, starting to crawl and saying "ma ma" along with other cute babbling noises. Just yesterday he pulled himself up to a standing position on the coffee table! he had this HUGE smile on his face! he was SO proud.

He is madly in love with food! All kinds too. he loves just about anything i give him. i was giving him organic baby food from a jar but he seemed to loose interest. I started going back to grinding up real food for him in the baby grinder and he just loves it!! im sure its all the texture that he likes. he is getting pretty good at using a sippy cup too.

He enjoys going swimming. he is an excellent splasher. he doesn't really mind when Zerrell splashes him either.

He is a very happy baby. he is for the most part pretty mellow although lately with his new found mobility he is getting frustrated alot easier. He still adores Zerrell although he is getting faster at graping her toys and is forming quite an opinion of what he wants and doesn't want from Zerrell. He gives her this new look, Its like the wheels are turning in his head and he is plotting his over throw of her rule. Im so curious to see how they interact as they get older. im also a little scared too.

harper brings such joy into my life. he brings a smile to my face and he is so sweet and thoughtful (if an 8months can BE thoughtful). During my pregnancy with him I Experienced alot of sorrow. I was away from my family for the first part of my pregnancy. i was separated from Ted for a total of 2 months. I had such heartache for my sister who lost her baby and extreme guilt for still having mine, our kids would have been a month apart. All of this was underlined by the knowledge that ted was being deployed shortly after Harper was born. I dreaded my due date knowing that it meant it was that much closer to ted leaving. I was in alot of physical pain, my whole pregnancy, which resulted in bed rest. We moved, ted was laid off due to the CA budget. I remember that days before harper was born I confided all these emotions and thoughts to my mother, I told her i was scared that there wouldn't be any happiness in me when he was born. She told me through her own tears that He would bring nothing but great joy to my life. And he truly has. He and i have such a special relationship... well duh, im his mother but its more then that. He always puts a smile on my face. Maybe its because he is my second baby and im not as nervous, maybe its because he's a boy. I just enjoy him so much.

So the "mother guilt" of mine is always there. I let him cry longer than i ever did with zerrell. mainly because i am usually cleaning up some catastrophe that zerrell was involved in and he has to wait longer for me. I worry about him without Ted. I know he will not remember this time, and I'm glad of that. But i worry about how Ted was so close to Zerrell during this time and that Harper is missing out on this. i want Ted and Harper to be close, i know they will. He knows Ted's voice. He always completely STOPS what he is doing when he hears ted talking on the phone. The other night he was cry and cry and i was talking to Ted and ted told me to put the phone up to Harper's ear, i did, ted started talking and Harper stopped cry immediately.

When we get to use the Web cam, Harper looks right at Ted and smiles. Harper smiles when ever he sees a picture of ted. I try to do the tickling and rough housing with him like i know Ted would, I'm not that good at it. Luckily Zerrell roughs around with him enough to make up for what i lack.

He is at such a great age. 8months. just starting to crawl but not yet into everything!